"J. Kellner"

(parody of "Hellfire" from Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"
Authors' note: Somewhat incomplete because the most of the Latin has been ommited.  The time
frame of this song is mid-February...just as Freakafans found out the show was
axed earlier than planned.)


(Freakazoid is in a costume resembling Frollo's)

Freakazoid:
-----------

Oh dear Maria
I'm usually a just man
Though a bit silly and having fun

Oh dear Maria
I'm usually not
one to wish
horrid, twisted fates on anyone

But you see Maria
This one man
in charge there
Hurt so many
folks- it was his goal

I hate him, despise him
The grudge and this
rage I bear
Are swirling in me out
of all control

Oh Kellner
J. Kellner
My wish is such a sin
cuz of your
decision
I want to do you you in

Freakazoid:                                       Chorus:
-----------                                       -------                                     

It's all his fault                               oh nutbunnies
He has no brain                                  oh nutbunnies
He's a lying fool            
To which I wish much pain                        oh big nutbunnies
It's all his fault                               oh nutbunnies                               
That horrid man                                  oh nutbunnies
To make us all suffer
Was his plan                                     oh big nutbunnies

I'm sorry Maria
What I wish for him is, well
The next thing that I am gonna say
Strike down Jamie Kellner
And let him taste the flames of Hell
That's what I wish upon him on this day

(the next part is spoken until indicated)

Messenger:  Uh Freak, I have bad news.

Freakazoid:  What?

Messenger:  Kellner made a new decision.  You show is now totally gone.

Freakazoid:  But weren't there two...never mind.  Just leave me to finish my
nasty song.  I'm so...I'm so...really, really ticked!

(singing resumes)

Freakazoid:
----------

J. Kellner
Yes Kellner
Hey meanie, it's your turn
Return me
You liar
Do so or you should burn

God send Fanboy to him.
Send a station to me.

But he must do so 
or he should burn!

(dramatic chorus to end)